JEWISH HUMOR

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Pregnant?
The doctor says to the man, “You’re pregnant!” The man says “How does a man get pregnant?”
The doctor says “The usual way. A little wine, a little dinner….”
–Henny Youngman

The Bum
A bum asked me “Give me $10 until payday.” I asked “When’s payday?” The bum answers “I don’t know, you’re the one who’s working!”
— Henny Youngman

Buying Stamps
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards.
” What denomination?” asked the clerk.
” Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” replied the woman. “Well, give me
51 Conservative,
12 Orthodox,
37 Reform

WISDOM
Always borrow money from a pessimist, he won’t expect it back