Jail Time Humor
A man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store. The man said to the judge, “Your Honor, I’m a Christian. I’ve become a new man. I am “Born Again!” However, I still have my old nature. It was not my new nature that did wrong. It was my old nature.” The judge responded, “Since it was the old nature that broke the law, we’ll sentence him to 60 days in jail. And since the new nature was an accomplice in the theft, we’ll give him 30 days, too. I therefore sentence you both to 90 days in jail.”

The Joke Of The Gate Guard…
One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when an Angel asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes while he took a break. Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach. This man was OLD! He walked very slowly, had a halting gait, and long white hair and beard. When Jesus asked, “Could I help?” The old man said in a shaky voice, “Yes! I’m looking for my son. Jesus wanted to help but didn’t think he could as there were millions of people in Heaven. The old man continued, “I know I can identify him very easily by the holes in his hands and feet,”
 Jesus does a double take and says, “Father?” 
The old man looks at Jesus and says, “Pinocchio?”

A Bit Of Humor
A Jewish lady calls the newspaper and asks for the obituary section. The obit guy asks, “What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to place an obituary.”
“Awright, how would you like it to read?”
“Irving Cohen died.”
“That’s it? Irving Cohen died?”
“That’s it.”
“But you get four lines in the obit. It’s included in the price.”
“All right. Irving Cohen died… Cadillac for sale.”

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

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