The Doctor says
“You’ll live to be 60!”
“I AM 60!”
“See, what did I tell you?”
— Henny Youngman

Customer: “Do you serve crabs here?”
Jewish Deli waiter: “Sit down, we serve anyone!”

A rabbi took a job at a Duracell factory. His job is to stand on the production line and as the batteries go by, say, “I wish you long life”.

A rabbi, a minister, and a priest are playing poker when the police raid the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer says, “Father Murphy, were you gambling?” Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispers, “Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do.” He then says to the police officer, “No, officer; I was not gambling.” The officer then asks the minister, “Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?” After an appeal to heaven, the minister replies, “No, officer; I was not gambling.” Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asks, “Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?” Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replies, “With whom?”

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

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